Dithering

I'm not sure about anyone else, but I've been struggling to accomplish anything let alone everything on my "to do" list. The house is only partially decorated for Christmas, I haven't quite finished the Christmas shopping, I'm behind on my appeals at work, and don't even mention the edit revisions for my current Work In Progress sitting on my desk at home.

Of course my husband's noticed. He hugged me hard yesterday morning and whispered, "I'll do whatever I can to help...as soon as I figure out what the right thing to do is." That's my hubby: delivering sincerity with a good dose of humor. Exactly what I needed. A smile accompanying the realization only I could figure out what was causing my funk.

And I did late yesterday afternoon.

My grandson spent the day with us. Now, he's two and a half. He's never still. Unless, of course, he's sleeping or sitting in front of the t.v. by himself...and even that doesn't happen often. But when he brought me the movie Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer to watch, I didn't think much of it. After I put it on and sat down on the couch to watch it with him, imagine my surprise when he climbed in my lap and got comfortable.

I had tons of things on my list to get done, but none of that mattered. The sweet smell of my grandson's washed hair, the pleasant weight of his little body resting against mine, the quiet time he and I shared, those things are what mattered. We sat together, snuggled under a blanket, and watched the entire movie.

When the movie ended, I felt rejuvenated.

I'd been looking at the big picture and become overwhelmed by the number of "things" that completed the whole image. Having a list of "things" to do was definitely a helpful way to keep organized. Handling each task one item at a time made perfect sense.

It was the way I'd been viewing each of those tasks. Like work. If they weren't completed to perfection, I wasn't doing my job. If I wasn't doing job, how could I ...or anyone else... enjoy Christmas. How silly of me to forget the most important aspect of the holidays: giving and sharing out of love.

No one in my family will care if I don't have out every Christmas decoration we own. My youngest daughters are now teenagers and old enough to help wrap gifts without spilling who got what before the presents are even opened. Work can be managed, and my writing, well, today's blog helped. Putting my behind in the chair and typing the keys allows everything in my head to crystallize into coherent thoughts.

Christmas only comes once a year, but when life's in balance it should resemble everything we do all year round...just be brighter!